How many wonders can one cavern hold?
by terribleandtaboofanfiction
Summary: Arendelle has surprise visitors from Muppetopia: Prince Kermit and his adviser, Sir Gonzo. WARNING: Group sex, incest.


**A/N: This came from a prompt on tumblr: 'Can you write a Muppet/Frozen crossover fic where Kermit and Gonzo tag team the sisters?'**

**I was told to do this as terribly as possible, so if (when) it starts sounding absolutely ridiculous, it's meant to.  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters within. They are the property of Disney, and whoever owns the rights to the Muppets.**

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The day the Muppetopian ship came up the fjord toward Arendelle, it was a complete surprise. The citizens of Arendelle, from the lowest peasant to the Official Royal Historian, had never heard of Muppetopia. It had never been labeled on any maps, and there were zero mentions of it in the history books going back as far as the earliest records.

The Muppetopians were met with wary guards lining the docks, the captain calling for someone to identify themselves and what business they had in Arendelle. A gangplank was lowered from the deck down to the dock, and a short blue _thing_, with a long, beaked nose, walked down alone, his furry blue hands raised in the air. As he approached, he reached inside his pristine white jacket and produced a sealed letter.

"I am Sir Gonzo, adviser to Queen Piggy of Muppetopia. She sends her husband, Prince Consort Kermit, and I as ambassadors to greet Queen Elsa and give her gifts from our land."

The captain of the guard broke the seal on the letter, noticing that the stamp embedded in the wax looked like a human face with a lion's mane surrounding it. The letter stated exactly what Sir Gonzo said, so he nodded and beckoned for the passengers to go ahead and come off the ship.

As the prince consort and his companions were led toward the castle, townspeople openly gaped at the strange sight. Dozens of little brown rats dressed in little suits of armor marched before and beside the prince, the swords at their sides the size of ice picks. Almost everyone decided having a queen who could shoot ice out of her hands wasn't so weird after all, compared to these strangers. (Some people were still convinced the Ice Queen was the strangest thing in the world, but their opinions don't matter in this story.)

As the Muppetopians were shown to the throne room, an Arendellian guard quickly made his way to the queen's study to warn her of the surprise visitors. He arrived, out of breath and red in the face, and rapped his knuckles against the heavy oak door before he opened it.

"Yes?" Elsa inquired, her eyes still on the document she was reading.

"Uh… well…." he stammered.

That didn't sound good. Elsa looked up, eyebrows furrowing. "What is it?"

The guard pointed down the hallway in the direction of the throne room. "We have unexpected visitors, Your Majesty."

Elsa stowed her papers within the top drawer of the desk and stood, grabbing her jacket from a coat rack as she followed the guard out.

If she didn't have powers to create ice using her own two hands and therefore more inclined to believe in the extraordinary, Elsa may not have believed that these Muppetopians could be a real thing. The prince consort was a talking green frog, and his wife was apparently a pig. She couldn't figure out what Sir Gonzo was, and she felt it would be rude to ask.

They had offered a chest full of jewels and gold pieces as a gift to her, and Kermit had kissed her hand and wished her a long, prosperous reign. Elsa offered in return that they could stay with her as long as they wanted, and if anyone wanted to explore her land she would provide a guide to ensure they would get the most out of it.

As they were about to leave to be shown to the guest quarters, Elsa asked if the prince and adviser would like to join her and her sister for dinner that evening.

"That would be lovely, Your Majesty, thank you." With that, Kermit and his entourage left.

Anna laughed until she doubled over, barely able to breathe through the giggles. "A talking frog? Tiny rats in suits of armor? Come on, Elsa!" She broke out into another set of laughter.

The queen set her teacup back on the saucer in front of her. She had asked her sister to join her in the gardens for lunch so she could explain about their guests, so Anna wouldn't cause a scene at dinner later when she walked in to see a large frog and a whatsit sitting at the table. "This isn't a joke, Anna. They came from a place called Muppetopia, and-" she was interrupted by a loud snort as Anna tried suppressing another burst of laughter. "Fine. Don't believe me. You'll see for yourself later."

The princess managed to pull herself together enough that they could move onto other subjects. Anna animatedly told Elsa about the adventure she and Kristoff had gone on the previous day, where they had had to rescue one of Kristoff's trollfully-adopted sisters from a mean badger. Then, even though Elsa knew it bored her to death, Anna insisted hearing about all of the different royal duties Elsa was working on.

The day wore on, both young women going back to their separate activities until they were summoned for dinner. They walked in to find Kermit and Gonzo already seated at the large banquet table in the dining hall. Anna stopped dead in her tracks when she saw that her sister hadn't been joking, but quickly regained her composure and introduced herself. Elsa sat at the head of the table, and her sister took her seat on one side, next to Sir Gonzo and facing Prince Consort Kermit.

As the servants brought the first course in, Elsa asked how the Muppetopians liked Arendelle so far.

"Gonzo and I went for a ride into the woods behind the castle and found a nice stream to sit beside and just enjoy nature," Kermit said as he stirred his soup.

Gonzo drained his first glass of wine in two large gulps. He caught the eye of a servant and held the glass up for a refill. "Your Majesty, I must ask where you get your wine imported from. This is much better than anything I've ever tasted."

Elsa promised to find out the name of the vineyard and pass it along to him. "I can also make sure that a dozen casks go home with you when you leave."

"That would be wonderful, my lady." Gonzo looked at his prince, his mouth turning into a large smile.

The small talk continued through the third course, an arrangement of pheasants with plum sauce, steamed carrots, and more red wine all around.

Before much longer, the meal was over and everyone was thoroughly stuffed. They were all enjoying each other's company though, and did not want the night to end quite yet. "Prince Kermit, would you and Sir Gonzo like to accompany Anna and I to the library for more drinks?"

"Sounds fantastic! Show us the way, madam," Kermit said, taking a couple unsteady steps toward the doors. Elsa quickly took his arm in hers, having to stoop a little to reach, but together they walked better. Gonzo offered a hand to Anna and they followed closely behind.

In the library, a servant had already started a roaring fire and moved two sets of loveseats in front of the hearth. A table held four glasses and three more bottles of the same fine wine they'd been enjoying with dinner.

With the less formal setting, as well as alcohol lowering everyone's inhibitions, the blue Muppetopian began telling more lewd jokes, causing Kermit to apologize and Elsa to wave his apologies away and return a crude joke of her own. Anna joined in with some of the things Kristoff had told her about his childhood surrounded by trolls, which were always hilarious.

One bottle of wine later, Anna finally asked the big question. "How is it a frog and a - pardon me, Sir Gonzo, but I have no idea what you are supposed to be - can talk and walk? Curse?"

Kermit set his glass on the table and leaned in toward Anna. "We were originally just the simple animals that you would see anywhere else; I was a frog who enjoyed sitting on my lily pad in the pond my parents had laid their eggs in; my wife was a pig who loved rolling in the mud and rooting for truffles; Gonzo here… I have no idea what he was before all this."

Gonzo shrugged. "I don't remember what I used to be, Your Highness."

"Right, so we _were_ simple animals and amphibians and such, and then one morning we woke up and were able to speak and walk on two legs. Our skin had changed from normal flesh to something like fabric, like a doll. We've narrowed it down to something happening to the river that we drank from, but we still aren't sure. The humans drove us out though, afraid of whatever curse we might bring down on them. We found each other, little by little, and Piggy was made the queen of our newly founded country. She and I fell in love, and we were married shortly after that."

"How is it that a pig and a frog are able to be married? To my understanding, your bodies are very different," Elsa asked cautiously.

Kermit grinned. "Besides walking and talking like humans, we all became more physically human in other ways, too."

Anna and Elsa exchanged a glance, and with narrowed eyes, Anna asked, "What do you mean, 'more physically human in other ways'?"

Gonzo let out a short, loud laugh. "He means those of us who didn't previously have one, grew penises or vaginas."

"Oh."

After a long pause, Elsa quietly said, "I think I would like to see what that looks like."

Kermit nudged his companion and nodded. They both stood up and began undoing their belts. The sisters gasped when they pulled their pants down to reveal a rather large, fuzzy cock each. Both men proudly presented their manhoods as the women leaned closer to examine them.

"May I?" Anna asked as she began reaching for Gonzo's. It was blue and curved upward, much like his nose curved downward. He nodded, and she tentatively stroked the entire length. It was soft, like a cat. Fascinated, she closed her fingers around the shaft and began pumping up and down.

Elsa didn't even ask, she just went to her knees in front of Kermit and dropped her mouth straight down over the head of his thick green member. She felt webbed hands tangle themselves in her hair and guide her further down and back up.

"Suck on my balls, Princess," Gonzo commanded. She readily complied, her hand continuing its motions.

Kermit pulled himself out of Elsa's mouth and took her by the hand to guide her over to the loveseat she had just been sitting on. She lay on her back and allowed him to pull the bottom of her dress up until he could see her nether regions. Elsa reached down to pull the fabric of her underwear aside, rewarding Kermit with a view of her glistening pussy lips. His long frog tongue whipped out to get a taste of her juices. "Hmm, that's a tasty-looking pussy, Your Majesty." His tongue lashed out again and again, driving Elsa crazy with need. Finally he pulled her underwear off and positioned his head right in front of her love hole. His tongue lashed out one more time, but this time it went in her moist cavern and stayed there. He moved it this way and that, tickling Elsa deep inside. It was the weirdest sensation Elsa had ever experienced, but she loved it.

Three feet away, the other pair had moved to the other loveseat. Gonzo had removed Anna's dress and was now straddling her chest, sliding his dick up and down between her tits. With a final pump and a grunt, his cock erupted all over her neck, creating a necklace of cum.

Anna reached up to wipe it up, but Gonzo smacked her hand away. "No, no, leave it. I plan to add much more to that." With that, he turned around and looked down at her bared pussy. Testing with two fingers, he found that she was more than wet enough. Anna gasped as she felt something long and hard enter and start fucking her. Gonzo moved his head back and forth, plunging his nose in and out at a steady pace.

Elsa was butter in Kermit's hands. She needed more though. "Fuck me, Prince Kermit. I want to feel that fuzzy green cock inside me," she panted. Kermit retracted his tongue and moved up to align his cock with her velvet glove. He pushed in and set a fast pace. The queen screamed, "Yes! Yes! Oh god, yes!" and gripped the arm of the loveseat behind her head.

Gonzo could feel that his cock was fully erect again so removed his nose from within Anna's hoo-ha. He began getting up to be able to put his dick in it, but Anna chose to get up as well. Without a word, she crossed over to her sister and knelt down beside the couch, presenting her cum-covered chest to Elsa's waiting mouth.

The blue whatsit yanked on his cock a little, watching Elsa lick every last drop of cum from Anna's chest. "Yeah, baby, clean that jizz off your sister's chest. That's so hot. Isn't that hot, Kermit?" The prince nodded and pounded away even harder. Gonzo followed his lead and entered the princess' punani from behind.

A few minutes later, Kermit signaled Gonzo with his eyes that he wanted to switch. They both pulled out, traded places, and slipped their johnsons into the new pussy before them. Elsa had finished cleaning Anna's chest, but she wanted more of her. She slipped her hand to the back of Anna's neck and pulled her down, crashing their lips together. Within seconds, their tongues were battling for dominance. They began grabbing at each other's jigglebags, pinching and kneading, which only served to make both Gonzo and Kermit even hornier.

Gonzo finally called out, "Ohhhh, fuck! I'm going to cum!"

"I am, too!" cried Kermit.

Elsa broke away from kissing her sister. "I want you to cum on my face. Please cum all over my face, Kermit!"

"As you wish, Your Majesty." They pulled their willies out and stepped back as Anna and Elsa moved to kneel in front of them.

_One, two, three_ pulls each was all it took for ropes of cum to fly out of the furry cocks and onto the waiting faces of the queen and princess. Kermit and Gonzo looked at each other, both wearing a giant smile, and they hi-fived.


End file.
